MYSTERIES · GRIEF AND REMEMBRANCE

Signs from the dead: butterflies, feathers and the sense of presence

Many people say, after the death of someone close: I felt that they were near. For some this is a sign from the beyond; for psychologists it is a natural part of grief. Both perspectives can bring comfort.

Ezostylia Editorial Team · facts checked in sources · updated 31.10.2026

What people experience

The most commonly described experiences are a sense of the deceased's presence in the room, a voice heard, a familiar scent of perfume or tobacco, dreams, and small "signs": a butterfly, a bird that arrives at an important moment, a feather, a favourite song on the radio.

What the research says

As early as 1971, the Welsh physician W. Dewi Rees described, in the British Medical Journal, conversations with 293 widowed individuals. Nearly half of them had experienced illusions or hallucinations connected with their deceased spouse — for instance the impression that he or she was nearby, sometimes for many years. Most had told no one about it, even though these experiences generally brought consolation.

Psychologists regard such experiences as an ordinary, healthy part of grief, rather than a symptom of illness. They show how strong the bond with a loved one is.

Folk tradition

In Polish folk belief, the soul of the deceased could visit the home in the form of a bird or a butterfly. Knocking, the creaking of doors, or tapping at a window were regarded as a sign that the deceased needed something — for example, prayers. The custom of leaving a window ajar at Zaduszki grows from the same conviction.

How to approach this with wisdom

If a sign brings you peace, allow yourself to receive it. You do not need to prove to anyone what it means.
Write down such moments: in time they become a precious journal of remembrance.
Be wary of people who, for money, promise certain contact with the deceased.
If the experiences arouse fear, or there are a great many of them, speak with a psychologist.

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Sources

Rees W.D., The Hallucinations of Widowhood, BMJ 1971

FAQ

Frequently asked questions

Is a sense of the presence of the deceased normal?

Yes. In the landmark study by W. Dewi Rees (1971), nearly half of widowed individuals described illusions or hallucinations connected with the deceased; psychologists consider these a natural part of grief.

What does a butterfly mean after the death of a loved one?

In many traditions the butterfly is a symbol of the soul and of transformation, and is therefore sometimes received as a sign from the deceased.